A PPG Landing with a Difference

I had a cracker of a flight again last weekend with my powered paraglider from Mtunzini (just south of Richards Bay) back to Durbs, this was a second one of these great scenic flights. Navigation is dead easy, just follow the beach and enjoy a perspective that not even those in light aircraft can accomplish. Flying at heights sometimes of only 1m above the sand or up to 200m for the stunning views, we cruised in the perfect conditions. Our first laugh was when I maneuvered the shadow of my wing up over the back of a 4X4 that was traveling in the same direction and with their backs to us. As my shadow covered the bonnet and windscreen I reduced power and pulled deep toggle to hold the shadow. The response was hilarious, the vehicle did a few swerves and couldn’t shake off this sudden darkness on a sunny day, there was a simultaneous and sudden stop as two heads poked out of the windows looking upward. I did a descending turn around them until at ground level and flew past giving a cheery wave, they didn’t make any attempt to conceal their astonishment. They had obviously never even conceived of such a flying machine and gave it the classical “aish – what does it cost” look.

And - wait for it - I got to bhuka a couple of babes tanning topless, now wasn't that lucky. It just goes to prove what I've always professed, and that is that there are many more benefits to aviation than just transport. I know this because I could have run from Mtunzini to Dbn, but I'm certain that as I ran towards these girls they would certainly have run away, right? In the PPG the last thing they think of is running as they stare uncomprehendingly at my strange craft, even momentarily forgetting their state of nakedness. That is until I did the hook turn to go back and tease them with a camera, which sent them scurrying in a spray of sea sand for the cover of the dune vegetation. Really some people just have no sense of adventure. I'm so naughty that my immediate thought was to play a while by circling them like a herd of game in a darting operation and then dropping in upon these nervously quivering quarry in completion of my conquest. Imagine what Hagar the Horrible would say if he had access to such a craft for conducting his forays in search of the expansion of his harem. Phew! Do we live in the right and in the wrong age, it's so confusing?

Brian, my flight companion for this particular sortie has become the undisputed winner of a 'Wally of the Week Award'. He was on late finals for a beach landing at Umdloti at the very end of this epic journey when he suddenly changed his mind about the grass verge he’d intended landing on. He rather opted for the beach itself and upon traversing the fringe of shrubs he found an unfortunate lady sun tanner in his path, this was the only individual on this otherwise empty beach. With a look resembling that of a locust about to go through a car windscreen, she started wheelspinning with some desperate intent to avoid certain death by slicing. At this time Brian was commencing his evasive action routine which comprised about 4 arse splitting strides each one imprinting at least 12 inches deep into the sand whilst gassing the engine full blast in some misguided belief that height is safety. However what Brian had overlooked in his tunnel visioned reaction was that he'd also applied full deflection (hook turn) to the right in his attempt to avoid the now seriously pannicked suntanner, all with the result that on completion of a beautiful ultra low level hook turn, he was now downwind and with the 'Down Wind Demon' sucking at him with intent. He accomplished at least 2 very very impressive arse renting leaps before skidding to rest face down in the shore break.

Now that's not all, any of you familiar with the hand controlled throttle device of a PPG will appreciate that when you instinctively put your hands out to break a fall and you're holding a throttle, you've got trouble and that's exactly what he had, his fist buried itself in the sand unavoidably applying full throttle such that all that could be seen from the road was a great spray of sand and sea water and very little of Brian, who at this time had the main airframe pressed hard against the back of his head and his mouth in the sand. He delivered himself well salted and spitting sand to the now thoroughly traumatised suntanner to apologise, which I thought was a brave touch for a man who had so recently deposited at least 2 spoonfulls of putty in his pants along with the shore dump sea sand which was surely there as well. Brian we'll be sending you your Nxuze Award along with a free tube of a soothing salve that's great for grinding rash.